On finding emotional support within
One of the first steps to recovering is admitting to yourself that you need to recover and heal from something.
It is not your partner, spouse, crush, friend, sibling, or any other person's job to fix you. That is your job. That does not mean you are living alone through whatever you may be going through. Emotional dependency is dangerous. You can get support, compassion, and understanding from others, but the acceptance, strength, movement, dedication, and persistence you require can only be provided by one person - you.
That in mind, it should be known that it's inherently important for our own mental sanity and the sanity of others, especially those whom we care for that show us care, that we learn to tell a variety of people about ourselves across a period of time rather than letting our feelings bottle up and explode onto one person. Volcanoes only produce ash and ruin.
We cannot subconsciously or consciously transfer our emotions or difficulty onto one person, and why would we want to do that to someone we care about? Maybe we don't want to or realize we are, but it happens. Once we know it is, we must address it and regroup within ourselves. We can't do that to them or ourselves. We don't want to. Widen your support network. There are ample good people in the world, despite the chaos and disgust of modern society. They are out there. They are helping. They are healing, and we are beyond capable of joining them. We must always face ourselves and become the emotional support we need most. We can do it.
In our weakest moments, we learn the most about ourselves. In overcoming our weakest moments, we become our strongest selves.
Everything you need is inside of you. Hear me out -
Outofstress.com makes a great point in saying that, "in order to truly experience life in a liberated state of being, one has to be free of any form of emotional dependence."
Think about that for a second. You can be a strong, independent person, but still, have experienced things that make you feel or act differently around select people. Maybe you are that strong and independent self around select people but tend to break down with others. Think about why you do that and how you can make a better effort to show a more balanced self around all types of people, not for them, but FOR YOU. Understand your triggers and become closer to understanding yourself.
Keep in mind, no one ever completely knows themself, but some get closer than others. With effort, it's possible to self-develop near it, but, being that change is the only constant, we have the opportunity to re-know ourselves at different points in our lives all the time ... that should be exciting and encouraging. Progress is ahead.
Do not do things for others. That will get you nowhere. This does not mean you don't care about them or they don't care about you, but you need to learn to take care of, love and nurture yourself before anything else. The more content you feel within, the better life you will lead.
I'll say it again - everything you need is inside of you. If this year has taught me anything, it's really that. I had been searching for answers across the coast, and I wound up finding this out exactly back home where I started. I learned I have not failed. I learned I am strong. I learned that the life I want is not what I thought it was. Some of these pills were a bit hard to swallow, but they've become vitamin supplements, so to speak, recently.
It's hard to realize, but it's inherently valuable to learn this earlier rather than later in life. Life is too short to not live and enjoy it to the fullest. Emotional wellness is something we must work on every day. There are goals we achieve on this journey, but there is no end point until it's the end, and what a waste of a life to be waiting for "the end." Don't do that to yourself or others. Live for now. Live for you. Love right now. Love you.
Feeling the need to see a therapist does not mean you are broken. Though you may consider yourself a perfectionist or someone who is strong and can "get over it themselves," sometimes you truly don't know what you need to hear until you hear it. I would say, therapy is worth a try if you've even considered it slightly, but you have to be ready to explore your past and emotions. You have to be ready to be honest and lay it all out there, not for your therapist, but for yourself ...
Progress is an internal truth we slowly bring out of us.
As I've said many a time - be patient with yourself and that process. Be kind to yourself and know your limits. Sometimes you can take a push, but it's okay to admit you need a break and step back. Channel your conscious thought onto positive hobbies throughout this time. Find inspiration and mindfulness where you can. It is always possible to ...
If you are going through a hard time, if you have been through a hard time, you should realize that your hard time is not you. Your hard time is no longer your present danger, and, if it is, you deserve to get the help you need to fix it. You are safe. You will be safe if you are not presently. You must believe that. You are well. You are loved. You are NOT crazy. You are important. You are NOT broken, but you are also not devoid of emotion. Feeling emotions does not mean you are broken. Feeling severely about something does not necessarily mean this either ... it can just mean you are living in a difficult moment, and to that I say let live, then let go. Get through. Face it. Feel it. Heal it. Then, move forward ...
YOU DESERVE HAPPINESS AND CONTENT. YOU DO NOT DESERVE THE WORST OF YOURSELF, EVER.
Remember, nothing will ever happen overnight, but if you never take the first step, it won't happen in a few months or years either. Everything in life is a process and a grayscale. Life is conditional to the individual, but we are all surviving the human experience and condition together. Breathe in. Breathe out, beautiful. We are. You are. I am. We got this. You can do it. I can do it.
All my love,