Affirmations and new perspectives

This year has been weird to put it lightly. I won't lie about that. I have been through a considerable amount of change that has effected my life significantly. I won't get into the details for now, just know whoever you are reading this now, if you have been through a considerable amount of change and transition, you are not alone.

Though we all experience pain, sadness and change at different levels, we are all going through the same universal experience at the end of it all, the human experience. We cannot compare our separate experiences or feelings to others'. We are not each other, but we are going through it together. Be open and mindful of this as you move forward in your life. There will always be "something."

How does one begin to start a new path or project when the complexities of life seem to be pulling in all other directions, though? It's a lot simpler than this worrysome thought, I figure. To worry is to only be distracted from calm, self-encouraging, strengthening, and positive perspectives. I should know the opposites. I've been told I'm a worrier the majority of my life. Practicing mindfulness is an aim I have for this new period of my life.

You just do things. Life is about doing. It's not about trying. You do or you don't.

That's the key, fun and irony of it. Life will keep happening. Problems will keep occuring. (This is
another ancedote of life I recently learned from a great new read, "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" by Mark Manson.) You roll with the punches. You deal with the hand you are dealt - all the cliches you can think of in regard to this statement; I've thought them. I'm sure you have too at some point.

At 23-years-old, nearing 24, I have found myself in a place of rediscovery. I am constantly re-evaluating what life means to me, who I am and what's happening. I want to be my most full self, the self I know I am despite a past that hasn't been exactly kind. There's a quote from a show I once adored, well, more like a soliloquy, but it goes something like this:

"Do you know who you are? Do you know what's happened to you? Do you want to live this way? All it takes is one person, one patient, one moment to change your life forever. It can change your perspective, color your thinking.

One moment that forces you to re-evaluate everything you think you know. Do you know who you are? Do you know what's happened to you? Do you want to live this way? Do you know who you are? Do you know what's happened to you? Do you want to live this way?"

I say I used to adore this show, because, after a while, the drama has gotten old. Sorry, "Grey's." You've done me good in the past, but the future is bright and new, or, as Meredith might've said - "shiny." Best wishes for a fruitful future, or whatever Shonda Rhimes has planned.

I am no Meredith Grey. Nor am I Cristina Yang. I do not encourage the comparison of others to oneself, especially celebrity or character. A real, true person, at their core, is so much more than any storyline carried out in cinematic experience, though many films have in fact been made about "larger than life" people. I realize not all filmography portrays such fantastic beings, however. Sometimes you just have to watch the non-sensical, raunchy characters to appreciate the nourishment life brings to your own character (or for a good, tasteless laugh).

Anyway, back to the point -

I am not searching for happiness. I am not searching for more. I am not searching for things. At this time in my life, I am facing the things I have, the self I am, and looking towards the person I want to be. I am moving forward and through, not always doing fantastically, but I am doing.

There are many quotes that have resonated with me from "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" that fall into this mantra, but, in particular the following that Manson has quoted within his own teachings and reflections, which applies:

"You will never be happy if you continue to search for happiness. You will never live your life is you continue to search for the meaning of life," Albert Camus.

How true and humbling. If you have not read this book, I seriously recommend sitting down with your favorite cup of tea or other poison of choice and diving in. The primary lessons I learned from it encouraged new perspective.

You are not entitled to anything. There will always be new beginnings in life. We must learn to stay humbled despite experience or previous stature. Life is pretty linear in that it keeps happening until it doesn't anymore, and what a waste and pity to linger on that thought too long. We must live in the present and enjoy our lives now while we still have them. Learning to be lighthearted and proactive will make all the difference.

Problems keep occuring. It's about choosing what problems you want to deal with in life, not looking for ways to eliminate problems all together.

"Life is simple, it's just not easy," Manson says. 

How bittersweet and true. Manson tells readers everything you didn't know you needed to hear and you are changed for the better. You find the calm and sense of self-acceptance you had been yearning for while paging through. Though at times you may need to stop reading if only to refelct and digest, you will have completed reading it within a day or two. I'd be genuinely surprised if not, anyway, unless you have a crazy busy schedule that dictates your time.

Learn to slow down and enjoy the little things along the way. Don't distract yourself with hurrying through life. It already goes too fast.

All said, the point of this post is for you and I to start a conversation together about reality, the true joys and honesty of living and heart of being alive. My intention is to share thoughts about life and experience with you while growing through discussion. I will leave you with some self-affirmations to linger on as we move forward in this new dialogue together:
  1. Do not be too hard on yourself - the weight of the world is not on your shoulders. You are NOT responsible for everything.
  2. Your anxieties are not unreasonable. There are real causes behind them. You are not crazy. Your feelings are valid. You can find ways to manage this, even if the answer is not immediately present. Help yourself find solutions.
  3. Do not be afraid to ask for help. Asking for help can be a sign of strength, not weakness. Do not close yourself off to others while searching for yourself. True friends will stay with you through good and bad.
  4. Be the friend you need. Treat yourself with the same sort of compassion and empathy you would with someone you hold close. Hold yourself close. Focus on self-care and be aware of others.
  5. Encourage yourself to look at life open-mindedly and with multiple perspectives. Look outside yourself and within. Develop a radar for knowing when to do both.
If you've made it to the end of this post, thank you. It feels good to be writing again and I can't promise any ensuing posts will be shorter. That's just not my style and I make no apologies for longevity. This is not a blog intended to just be my own internal dialogue, but an open conversation with you.

Be well. Be good to yourself. I will do the same.

Xx, Julia Rose.


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